Followership Is Part of Leadership
I made a post on Threads recently asking parents if their child is a leader. One parent responded “He ain’t no follower!”
I knew exactly what she meant.
We say follower almost like it is an insult.
“He’s not a follower.”
“She’s a leader, not a follower.”
“Don’t follow everybody else.”
The implication is usually that being a follower means you are weak, passive, easily influenced, or incapable of thinking for yourself. On the other side of that, being a leader is positioned as the better thing to be.
But followership is part of leadership.
There are absolutely times when we should teach children not to follow. We do not want them blindly following people, behaviors, ideas, or directions that are unsafe or inconsistent with what they know is right.
But that is not the same thing as saying followership itself is bad.
In fact, knowing how to follow well is an important leadership skill.
Our Children Are Already Following Us
Children may be one of the clearest examples of why followership matters because, especially when they are little, they are already following us.
Literally.
My son is two, and he will follow me around the house all day.
But he is also following me in ways that are much bigger than walking behind me from room to room.
He is watching what I do.
He is listening to what I say.
He is paying attention to how I respond to people, how I handle frustration, how I speak, how I solve problems, how I take care of our home, and how I move through everyday life.
And the difficult part is that I do not always know which behavior or which piece of language he is going to absorb.
That is a constant reminder to me that leadership as a parent is not limited to the moments when I am deliberately “teaching” him something.
He is learning from me all the time.
That means his natural followership also places responsibility on me as his leader.
If he is looking to me for an example, then it would behoove me to think about what kind of example I am giving him—not because every interaction will be perfect, but because repeated interactions leave an impression.
Children Have to Follow Before They Can Do Everything for Themselves
There are so many things children simply do not know how to do yet.
That is not a criticism. That is childhood.
They learn by watching, listening, trying what someone else showed them, following directions, and copying.
And then, over time, they begin doing more independently.
We see this everywhere.
A child watches you wash their hands before they learn to do it themselves.
They follow you through the steps of cleaning something up.
They watch how you prepare food.
They listen when you explain how to complete a task.
They follow along while you show them how something works.
Eventually, what began as followership can become competence, confidence, independence, and even leadership of their own.
Watch. Follow. Practice. Understand. Do.
And eventually, perhaps, teach someone else.
There is nothing lesser about that process.
Followership Does Not Mean a Lack of Leadership
I think part of the problem is that we have reduced leadership to being “the person in charge.”
If the leader is the one giving directions, then the follower must be the person underneath them.
But leadership is much more complex than that.
Adults who are effective leaders still follow.
We follow laws, policies, instructions from people with expertise that we do not have, the direction of supervisors, and established processes.
We follow a better idea when someone else has one.
We follow plans that someone else created.
We work toward objectives that we did not personally choose.
Sometimes we lead. Other times we follow.
Often, we are doing both at the same time.
That is normal.
And I think children should learn that early.
Followership Also Teaches Us How to Lead
There is another reason I think followership belongs in conversations about leadership: learning to follow can help us understand what it means to lead other people.
If you have never learned to receive direction, how do you understand what it feels like to be directed?
If you have never had to listen carefully to someone else’s instructions, how do you learn to give clear instructions yourself?
If you have never contributed to someone else’s plan, how do you learn to delegate?
If you always need to be the person in charge, are you actually leading—or are you simply controlling?
Leadership requires the ability to contribute without always needing to be the one directing everyone else.
That is followership too.
This Is Why Childhood Is Such an Important Time to Teach It
Children naturally look to the adults around them to understand what to do and how to do it.
That makes childhood an important time to teach healthy followership intentionally.
Not blind obedience.
Not “do what I say because I said so.”
Healthy followership.
Listening.
Observing.
Learning from someone with more experience.
Following appropriate directions.
Working within a group.
Contributing to someone else’s plan.
Recognizing when someone else knows more.
And eventually, learning when not to follow.
Those are all skills children will need far beyond childhood.
They will need them with teachers, coaches, employers, coworkers, mentors, healthcare professionals, community members, and even the people they someday lead themselves.
And Parents Have to Know How to Lead
There is another side to this that I do not want to skip over.
If our children are naturally following us, then we have to think about the leadership they are following.
That does not mean parents have to be exceptional leaders before they can raise children with leadership skills.
I do not believe that.
But I do believe it means we should remain aware that our behavior is instructional, whether we intend for it to be or not.
Our children can learn from what we do well.
They can also learn from watching us acknowledge when we did something poorly, change course, apologize, try again, and make a better decision.
That is leadership too.
So when I think about followership in Leadership for Littles, I am not thinking about raising children who simply do what they are told.
I am thinking about helping children understand how to learn from others, how to participate when they are not in charge, how to recognize appropriate leadership, how to contribute to a shared goal, and how to eventually move between leading and following depending on what the situation requires.
Because the goal is not to raise a child who is “never a follower.”
The goal is to raise a child who understands how to lead, how to follow, and when each is appropriate.
For the Leader
As you move through this week, pay attention to the moments when your child is following—watching you, copying you, listening, practicing, or contributing to something someone else is leading. Name those moments when you see them. Followership is already happening; the opportunity is to help children understand that it is part of becoming a strong leader too.
Followership is just one of the leadership skills we can begin naming and developing early. If you want a broader look at the skills behind Leadership for Littles, start with the Key Leadership Skills Guide.
